Crochet Cat Coasters – Snarky Crochet Patterns

Today’s Crochet Book Sample, is a super fun and cheeky crochet from the new Snarky Crochet Patterns book.. be warned.. this book is packed with fun, cheeky and maybe a little rude (but in a good way) crochet content – but it is all done in good humour for something a little different and quirky! Today’s sample project shows the humour in these makes: come and make some Crochet Cat Butt Coasters with us! If you are a cat love, and you love to crochet… then why not check these out!! Aren’t they fun? Oh and the best bit? You can WIN a copy of this book here too!

Please note: this project has been reproduce with permission from the publisher and is not allowed to be republished in any way, without their constent. It is for personal use only.

Also note: affiliate links have been added to these post – should you choose to purchase via these, I will earn a small commission that goes towards the upkeep of this site!

Scroll to the end of this article to find out how to win a copy of Snarky Crochet!

The Snarky Crochet Book

So onto the this fun little crochet book!

Soooo what to say about Snarky Crochet, well I think the book cover and title speak for itself.. it is for our lovely crochet community that also loves a little bit of humour! So I am thinking older teenagers, young aduls, and grown ups of course, who LOVE to crochet, but also love to make something a little different.

Snarky Crochet is by the fabulous Lisa Ha (who you may know as Get To Hooking Crochet on socials). She is quirky and she is funny and she is a real champion of crochet! You will find her testing ai patterns (and doing a much better job of it, of course – whilst supporting crochet relevant charities) and having (pretend) feuds with Knitters.

Her book is packed with humour. So if you are not funny, this book is not for you (but you may like this book instead 😉 esp if working with tweens!). If you are funny, you HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK (or try and win one, by scrolling to the bottom of this article!). Check out the Cat Butt Coasters below – for a sample pattern, but also to get an idea of the “tone of voice”!

The book is available on Amazon and Quarto websites! ENJOY! And have LOTS of fun (I really want to make the cactus..).

Cat Busters Coasters

There’s a face that stuck-up snobs everywhere make when they disapprove of you: eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, lips tightly puckered—in other words, looking like a feline’s rear end. Looking like they walked into the odor path of a rotten fish. Looking like God wrote the script for their face in italics. Looking like they were put through the wash and shrunk in the dryer. Looking like they’re trying to fit through the opening of a Coke bottle, lips first. You know the type, always most displeased by your inelegance and lowbrow humor. Just imagine the cat-butt face they’ll make when they go to set down their glass on these subversive coasters! Viewed from one angle, it appears to be a cat’s face with two ears and a sweet little nose in the center. Turn it around, however . . . yup. Cat anus.

This no-sew pattern works up fast and is a great way to use up scrap yarn. You’ll be able to make a whole rainbow in the time it takes to scoff, “Well, I never!” in shocked indignation. Be sure to make an extra set for your best mates, who will no doubt also find them in poor taste but will love them even more for it. That’s why you get along.

Skill Level

Beginner-level crocheter; expert-level troll

Finished Measurement

4″ (10 cm) in diameter

Yarn

• Worsted weight (#4 medium)
• Shown in: Knit Picks Brava Worsted (100% acrylic; 218 yd [170 m]/3½ oz [100 g] per skein) Cotton Candy (A) for the anus, small amount; and Fairy Tale (B) for fur, 1 skein.
• Also shown in Cornflower, Grass, Caution, Paprika, Red, and Lady Slipper for color B.

Note: If you prefer a thicker coaster, you can double strand your yarn (e.g., crochet using two strands of worsted weight yarn held together) or use a bulky weight yarn, still using a US 1-9 (5.5 mm) hook.

Hook

US I-9 (5.5 mm)

Notions

• Scissors,
• tapestry needle,
• stitch marker (if desired),
• measuring tape

Gauge

Exact gauge is not important. At the end of Rnd 5 (30 SCs in the round), your circle diameter should be around 3¼” (8 cm). Instructions are provided within the pattern if your circle is measuring small or large.

The most important part is that your circle remains relatively flat. It can have a slight dome or have lightly ruffled or wavy edges, but if you push it down with your hand, it should flatten out and stay flat.

If it does not stay flat when pushed down:

• Go up a few hook sizes or loosen your tension (if domed or curved), or
• Go down a few hook sizes or tighten your tension (if wavy/ruffled), or
• Decide to live with its imperfections. We’re making cat butts here, not family heirlooms.

Notes

This coaster is worked in continuous rounds. We’ll be making offset increases, so it forms a circular, rather than hexagonal, shape. You may want to use a stitch marker to keep track of each Rnd.

Special Stitches

Triple (treble) crochet (TC):

Yo twice, insert your hook in next st, yo and pull through (4 loops on your hook), yo and pull through first two loops (3 loops remain on your hook), yo and pull through next two loops (2 loops remain on your hook), yo and pull through the remaining two loops to complete the stitch (1 loop on your hook).

How to crochet a Cat Coaster – Free Pattern Sample

Body

IN COLOR A

Rnd 1: Ch 2. In the second Ch from the hook, SC 6.

Pull tightly on the tail to close the center hole.

(6 SCs). Fasten off Color A.

IN COLOR B

Crochet over all three of your loose tails over the first 4–5 sts in the next round, trimming off the excess when done. Alternatively, you can sew them in at the end of the project.

Rnd 2: *SC-inc* 6 times. (12 SCs)
Rnd 3: *SC, SC-inc* 6 times. (18 SCs)
Rnd 4: SC in first st, SC-inc in next st, *SC 2, SC-inc* 5 times, SC in final st. (24 SCs)
Rnd 5: *SC 3, SC-inc* 6 times. (30 SCs)

Measure your coaster. If it is approximately 3¼” (8 cm) or more in diameter, move on to the FEET (do not fasten off). If it is not yet there, make another increase round:

Rnd 6 (if needed): SC 2, SC-inc, *SC 4, SC-inc* 5 times, SC in final 2 sts. (36 SCs)

Measure your coaster. If it is approximately 3¼” (8 cm) or more in diameter, move on to the FEET (do not fasten off). If it is not yet there, make another increase round:

Rnd 7 (if needed): *SC 5, SC-inc* 6 times. (42 SCs)

FEET

If you ended after Rnd 5 (30 sts)

*SC 5, SC-inc* 2 times.
In the next st work a DC, 2 TC, and DC (left foot).
Sl st in next 4 sts, keeping your tension relaxed.
In next st, work a DC, 2 TC, and DC (right foot).
*SC-Inc, SC 5* 2 times. (40 sts excluding feet)
Do not fasten off. Continue on to TAIL.

If you ended after Rnd 6 (36 sts)

*SC 6, SC-inc* 2 times.
In next st, work a DC, 2 TC, and DC (left foot).
Sl st in next 6 sts, keeping your tension relaxed.
In next st, work a DC, 2 TC, and DC (right foot).
*SC-Inc, SC 6* 2 times. (46 sts excluding feet)
Do not fasten off. Continue on to TAIL.

If you ended after Rnd 7 (42 sts)

*SC 7, SC-inc* 2 times.
In next st, work a DC, 2 TC, and DC (left foot).
Sl st in next 8 sts, keeping your tension relaxed.
In next st, work a DC, 2 TC, and DC (right foot).
*SC-inc, SC 7* 2 times. (52 sts excluding feet)
Do not fasten off. Continue on to TAIL.

Tail

Ch 9, work 2 SC in second Ch from hook, SC, *SC-inc* 2 times, SC 4, Sl st in first st from previous rnd.

Fasten off Color B and weave in ends.

Blocking

Wet the coaster either by spraying it with water or running it under the faucet. Gently squeeze the excess water out by pressing between layers of a folded towel. Lay it on a flat surface covered with a dry towel. While it’s still wet, gently shape the edges of the coaster to your liking, paying special attention to the tail and feet. Leave it to dry for a few hours or overnight.

Tips for Crocheting While Surrounded by Idiots

• Mind your tension. Your stitches will tend to get very tight when hooking while righteous.
• Wear earplugs. They’ll fit neatly in your notions bag!
• Keep your scissors and needle nearby. For legal reasons, this is so you can cut and poke… yarn.
• Crochet yourself a cozy, oversized turtleneck sweater. Pull it up over your entire head, add a flashlight, and hook to your heart’s content while blocking out the morons around you.
• Reply to all questions and other interruptions with an icy glare and a very loud counting of stitches.
• If that fails, pretend you only speak in crochet abbreviations. (“Dc2tog? SC six in Ch space! Inc-sk-inc. Repeat!”)
• Decline the event and stay home to crochet in peace.

Win a copy of Snarky Crochet:

Quarto and I have 3 copies up for grabs! This time, the giveaway is open to the US, Canada and the UK – apologies to rest of world! You have until the 25th MAy 2026 to enter. Please also read the T&C posted on the entry page:

Can’t wait for the competition.. then, the book is available on Amazon and Quarto websites! ENJOY! And have LOTS of fun (I really want to make the cactus..).